Jesus Loves Me must be one of the most well known songs in the church. I remember when I was a child, our church’s congregation would regularly sing this one particular song (as well as, Jesus Loves the Little Children) when the kids would go downstairs for Children’s Church. It was one of my favourite songs, I loved it, but it never had the meaning to me back then that it has to me now.
When I got saved back in late 2010, I struggled with knowing God’s love personally. Satan would remind me of the evil I’d done, all the time I’d wasted on useless things, the evil things that had come out of my mouth, and would cause me to doubt that Jesus could really love and accept me, no matter how genuine or committed I was now. No matter how much I tried to fix my eyes on Jesus, no matter how much I searched scripture, or read devotionals, turning my eyes more and more away from worldly things which had consumed me 100% before I got saved, I still suffered this lingering question… “Do You really love me now? Do you really accept me?”
Now, I had not given up secular entertainment entirely at that point, that’s another testimony, which you can find detailed here.
This nagging question lingered. I kept it private, hoping somehow, God would answer me Himself, and I wouldn’t have to ask or wonder any more, once I got the answer.
There was a lot of big stuff going on in my life at the time…and God was definitely moving in a big way behind the scenes. And the day God answered this question, He answered in a way that only He can answer!
Leading up to February 28, 2011, I’d been in contact via Facebook with a certain man in town, who the Holy Spirit led me to add to my friends list. The Lord used this man, Richard, so much to open my eyes and shake me awake, where the devil had me in a spiritual slumber. For a couple of months I just read his ‘notes’, longer posts on Facebook, where he was warning people that time is short, repentance is so very needed, and judgement is coming. Not a popular message to many, but it was one that caught my attention, because the Lord stirred something up in me as I read them, and bore witness to the fact that what he was saying was the truth.
We got to chatting and He told me a lot of mind boggling things about what was going on in the world, what scientists are up to, what the elite are up to, et cetera, and part of me didn’t know what to think about some of what he said, but a larger part was like…wait, this all lines up with my own research. God was confirming it for me and reminding me that the research I’d done, those things I’d found out, that wasn’t just ‘useless information’ like stats on the trading card, this was confirmation that as much as there is a real God, there’s real evil working on establishing the Antichrist system and making the masses antichrist in their hearts, minds, and souls.
Well, on February 28th, whilst I was still in the midst of my personal “Does God really love me and accept me now?” struggle, God used this man to answer. He didn’t know I was having that struggle. What he knew was as he told me in his message:
Jesus Loves You!!!
Yesterday afternoon while I was listening to the group of songs that I had picked out, the song “Jesus Loves Me” played and the Holy Spirit moved within me, comforting me, and imparted that SPECIFICALLY… Jesus Loves You, TOO!!!
My “radio thingy” is posted… listen, be blessed… KNOWING that YOU can sing ALL of these songs as much as I can…
I read that, and my heart pounded, because, I thought, this is the answer! And then, I found the video he’d made and uploaded with the songs on it…and listened. The song Jesus Loves Me was in there, and I sat listening, just focusing on the music, nothing else, and then I knew it was the answer, and I just wept and wept. At the time I wasn’t very familiar with having the Holy Spirit bless my soul like that, but looking back I know that was Him, using Richard and using the music to say, “Jesus loves you.”
Since then, if I ever doubt, I remember this time, and what happened, and how God answered in His own way, a way that was undoubtedly God Himself. And there have been times, when Richard has felt led to remind me, and he does…and I thank God for that, too!
The Lord has used Richard so much to bless me, at that time and so very much after…there’s too much to say to put it all into this one particular post, so I’ll share more about that another time. What I will finish this post with is saying that it’s a privilege, and an honour, and a gift, to be his wife. Thank you, Richard, for listening to the Lord like you do, and for loving me like you do. I love you with all my heart.